


Cupid Crystals

by TreacleTart



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: HPFT, Gen, Love Potion/Spell, Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-10 09:59:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6951805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TreacleTart/pseuds/TreacleTart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fred, George, & Lee hatch a plan to prank Professor Snape involving Mrs. Norris and a love potion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cupid Crystals

  
Beautiful Banner by Darth Vader @ TDA! 

**5:17 PM**

“Do you have it?” Fred whispered as he huddled close to George and Lee.

Grumbling, George withdrew a small vial from his pocket. He held it out a little ways in front of him for all of them to see. “Yep. It’s all ready to go. Just need a hair from Mrs. Norris. Did you manage to get that Lee?”

“Filch nearly skinned me when he caught me messing with her, but I managed to escape with a handful of hair.” Lee pulled a small piece of parchment from his pocket and unfolded it to reveal several short grey hairs.

“Perfect. So all we need to do now is figure out how to get it in his meal. We can’t be the least bit suspicious. He’s too perceptive for us to get away with it if we’re sloppy.”

“Right, you are George. Luckily, I’ve had another one of my clever ideas,” Fred said, eyeing Harry who was sitting just a few seats away. “Oi, Harry!”

Turning, Harry nodded. “What do you lot want?”

“Could you let us borrow your invisibility cloak for about an hour?” George asked. “We’ll give it back after dinner if that’s alright.”

Harry shot them a suspicious look as he rose from his seat. “Do I even want to know what you’re going to use it for?”

“Ask us no questions and we’ll tell you no lies, mate,” said Fred, smiling mischievously.

With a quick shake of the head, Harry started up the stairs to retrieve his cloak. “Probably better for me not to know,” he called down to them.

 

**5:43 PM**

“So which one of us is going to do it?” Fred asked, eyeing the staff table. 

“Well, if it’s one of you lot, you’ll both have to do it. It’d be too suspicious if only one of you was at the dinner table.”

George nodded in agreement. “Right you are, Lee. How about it Fred? Shall we do this?” he asked, extending his arm to his brother. 

The twins huddled close to each other and wrapped the cloak around themselves with great care. They both laughed as their lower extremities suddenly disappeared. 

“What do you think Lee?” George said. “Can you see anything?”

“Nope, looks like you two are all set. Just don’t mess it up. If Snape catches you, he’ll be likely to flay you alive.”

George shifted under the cloak. “Watch where you’re going Fred. You’re treading on my toes.”

“Well, if you’d stop digging your elbow into my ribs, maybe I’d be able to focus a bit better,” Fred retorted, tugging the cloak to make sure it fully covered them.

**6:00pm**

Fred and George crept behind the staff table, keeping their eyes peeled for anyone who might blow their cover. At the moment, the coast was clear. It seemed that most of the staff was running late. Some of them were still shuffling into the Great Hall. Only Hagrid was already seated and he was way on the opposite end of the table, busy chatting with several of the students who were passing by.

“Now’s the time, Fred. Put the potion in his cup,” hissed George.

Taking great care not to be seen, Fred lifted his arm above Snape’s chalice and poured a sprinkling of iridescent white crystals into his beverage. He smiled as they quickly dissolved into the liquid. 

“You sure he won’t be able to smell or taste it? I mean, he is the potion’s master after all. If anyone could recognize a potion, it would be him,” George mused, fidgeting nervously with his robes.

Fred shook his head. “We’ve tested it in every liquid possible and we’ve had the same results each time. He won’t even notice the difference.”

“Alright. Let’s get out of here before he comes barreling up the aisle way and bumps into us or something.”

“Right you are, George.”

**6:17PM**

“Did you guys do it?” Lee asked, a large grin plastered across his face. He had two seats reserved across from him at the Gryffindor table.

The twins nodded their heads in unison and turned to see Snape walking up to his seat at the staff table. The first thing he picked up was his goblet, taking a deep swig of the pumpkin juice inside.

“Perfect,” Fred said, giving his friends a devilish grin. 

As they ate, Fred, George, and Lee kept their eyes on the staff table, waiting for some sign that the potion was working. With every passing moment, disappointment began to set in. Silence fell over the three Gryffindors, broken only by George stabbing angrily at his potatoes. 

Lee flinched every time George’s fork made contact with the plate. “What do you suppose went wrong?”

“No bloody idea,” Fred said, “Worked fine when we tested them. George practically tripped over himself chasing Alicia down the hall before I could get the antidote into him. Gave her quite the fright.”

George raised an eyebrow as Lee laughed uncontrollably. “That wasn’t as bad as you serenading Angelina with love songs. It sounded like someone had skinned a pair of kneazles in the Gryffindor common room.”

“Seemed to work out alright. She’s going with me to Hogsmeade next weekend.” A sly grin slid across Fred’s face as George and Lee stared at him with their mouths agape. “You know I have a way with the ladies.”

Just then, their attention was drawn back to the front of the room as Snape bolted upright from his seat. His shoulders were ridged and his hair was in complete disarray. He was so flushed that he looked like he might’ve just finished a rousing game of Quidditch. A point far on the opposite side of the room held his attention and he was staring at it with laser like focus.

Students all around the room began shifting in their seats, turning to catch a glimpse of whatever he was staring at. At first, it seemed that there was nothing there, but then Mrs. Norris came slinking out from between the tables, her tail held aloft in the air. Snape’s eyes fixated on her, watching her every movement.

Without warning, Snape ran around the table towards the cat, startling her with his rapid movements. His long black cape billowed out behind him as he went, giving him the appearance of a raven about to swoop down on it’s prey.

Eyes bulging from her head, Mrs. Norris took off in a startled flight, running under one of the tables. Knocking several students out of his way, Snape attempted to dive after her. Even a painful collision with one of the table legs didn’t stop him. 

A wave of murmurs and shouts broke across the dining hall as Snape sprinted after the terrified feline. He lept over benches and magicked tables out of the way. Food went flying and goblets of pumpkin juice smashed to the floor. Everything that stood in his way ended up looking like it had been smashed by a herd of rampaging manticores.

As the chaos continued, Fred, George, and Lee were practically in tears from laughter. Never in their wildest dreams had they imagined Snape behaving in such a fashion. The looks on their classmates faces made it all the more hysterical. No one had any idea what had been done. 

“Severus,” Professor McGonagall called loudly across the dining room, “What in Merlin’s name are you doing?”

Her stern tone of voice did little to affect Snape. Ignoring her, he lunged once more at the cat who was now backed into a corner, fearful for her life. As he reached out to her, she hissed and snarled, batting at his hands with her claws.

Nails connected with flesh, drawing little lines of blood across Snape’s hands, but still he persisted. “Mrs. Norris. Why are you so angry with me? I only want to hold you,” he whined in an entirely un-Snape like voice.

“Severus, really now,” Professor McGonagall shouted over the ruckus. When he again ignored her, she shook her head and sent a spell flying at him. 

Without even looking up, Snape blocked the spell sending it ricocheting across the room where it smashed into one of the chandeliers, spraying part of the room in crystal fragments. 

Stunned, Professor McGonagall looked back at the other Professors who all sat open mouthed at the staff table. “Get up you lot and give me a hand. Clearly, something is wrong with him.”

As the Professors circled closer and closer to Snape, he threw up a massive shield charm to keep them from getting near him. He and Mrs. Norris were trapped behind it and she was spitting furiously. Reaching forward he picked her up, paying little mind to how she clawed at his arms. 

Hugging the cat tightly to his chest, Snape whispered, “Oh Mrs. Norris, how I’ve missed you so. Why must you play such coy games with me?”

The laughter throughout the room was riotous. Many of the students could hardly contain their mirth as their least favorite Professor paraded around the room, his arms wrapped tightly around the madly struggling, Mrs. Norris. 

“Look at McGonagall,” roared Lee, “She has no idea what to do.”

“This can’t get any better,” chuckled Fred, tears streaming down his cheeks. 

Unable to stop laughing, George just nodded his head enthusiastically.

“What in the bloody hell are you doing with my cat!” A loud voice rang out across the dining hall. 

Fred, George, and Lee turned just in time to see an irate Argus Filch storming down the rows of tables. His face was a deep shade of purple and his eyes were almost popping out of his head. 

“If you’ve hurt her in anyway, I’ll haul you off to the dungeons,” he shrieked, advancing towards Snape.

Barely able to control his laughter, Fred said, “I lied. I guess it can get better.”

“Did you see his face?” Lee said, gasping to catch his breath.

The boys watched in amusement as Filch flung himself against the shield that Snape had put up in a desperate attempt to rescue his cat. Her loud yowls echoed and reverberated off of the walls, fueling Filch’s desperation.

“Give me back my cat!” He roared, spittle flying in all directions as he raged. 

“What a barmy git. He’s mad as a bag of ferrets!” Said Fred loudly, just as a hush fell over the room. His face blanched slightly as he noticed that Dumbledore was striding through the center of the room.

“Argus, Severus, what is the meaning of this?” Dumbledore called out, taking in the scene of smashed tables and the Professors with their wands drawn. 

“I’ve been telling you for years that everyone was after me! Now, he’s gone and stole my cat! I demand justice. I demand that he pay the consequence, Professor or not. I won’t allow anyone to attack Mrs. Norris,” Filch practically screamed. He looked to be close to tears.

Looking from Filch to Snape who was stroking the cat's fur lovingly, he chuckled ever so slightly. “Settle down, Argus. I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation.”

Filch went to protest, but Dumbledore simply held up a hand. “Severus,” he said quietly, “Please, lower your shield charm.”

Snape clung tightly to the cat. “I will not. You’ll only try to take her from me. All of you are jealous, but she’s mine and I love her.”

“No one will do any such thing. In fact, I will have everyone leave the dining room and return to their common rooms to be certain.”

A loud murmur rose up from the students, but the Professors and Prefects were already busy shepherding everyone out.

“Well, I suppose that’s our cue,” said George, winking at Lee and Fred. 

Lee yawned as he rose from his seat. “I’m bloody well knackered. All of that laughing wore me out.”

The three boys followed the masses up the stairs and into the common room, discussing the success of their prank the whole way.

**7:12 PM**

“Did you lot do that?” Harry said firmly as he approached the twins. 

“What ever do you mean, Harry?” Fred asked, feigning innocence.

Harry’s mouth pressed into a thin line. “You know what I mean. The whole thing with Snape.”

George shrugged his shoulders at Fred. “Not sure what you’re talking about Harry. Haven’t lost the plot have you?”

“Yeah. Why would you accuse us of such a thing? We’re the pillars of innocence and good behavior,” added George, a look that could rival Percy on his face.

“Funny you should ask. I just got accosted by Snape on the way to the library. He was on about me slipping love potion into his food. Something about me wanting to make a fool of him and being just like my father. Not quite sure why he would think I had anything to do with it.”

“What a tosser,” Fred said. “Oh, before I forget. Here’s your cloak back. Thanks for letting us borrow it. It was quite helpful.”

George beamed up at Harry. “Quite helpful indeed.”

“Well, at least it’s in one piece,” Harry sighed, heading back up the stairs. “That’s more than I expected. Remind me to never let you use this again.”

Once Harry was out of hearing range, Fred whispered. "Well, at least now we know why they say not to use animal hair in love potions."

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! 
> 
> This story was originally written for the Legendary Prank challenge on HPFF in which we were given a prank and told to either write about the Marauders or Fred and George. My prompt was “a prank that inspired the Wonder Witch line of Weasley Wizard Wheezes”. Since that whole line of products is basically love potions, I had a hard time deciding what exactly I wanted to do with it. Finally, at the last minute an idea struck.
> 
> Anyway, I’d love to hear what you thought of this, so feel free to make use of the little grey box below! 
> 
> Thank you as always for reading!
> 
> ~Kaitlin/TreacleTart


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